Wednesday, May 16, 2007

From the Desk of Tod Gordon: PWU 5/19 @ 7:30 pm HUGE Card Announcement, Crazy 8 News, Commissioner Idol, & More

From the Desk of Tod Gordon: PWU 5/19 @ 7:30 pm HUGE Card Announcement, Crazy 8 News, Commissioner Idol, & More

Spring is in the air! It's May and PWU as always is preparing to put together a string of shows that should have wrestling fans talking for some time to come. Before I give you the upcoming card, let me ask that you all check out our web site, ProWrestlingUnplugged.com, where as I write this fans are sending in submission after submission to be a part of COMMISSIONER IDOL! What is Commissioner Idol? We at Pro Wrestling Unplugged take great pride at trying to be innovative. Sometimes it seems like everything in wrestling that can be done has been done. Witness our exhibit # 1, The Crazy 8 match. Scheduled for June, this third annual Crazy 8 match will no doubt be taking this already insane concept to a higher level. Click here to watch a 3 minute video of what I consider one of the most innovative wrestling concepts in many years. I only wish I had thought of it first instead of Johnny "bi-polar" Kashmere. I didn't, so I'll give him his due.

I have, however, come up with Commissioner Idol where I intend, with the help of all of our voting fans, to give the actual job of PWU Commissioner to an actual fan! That is my definition of being a fan friendly and fan interactive federation. You can submit your entries via YouTube, VHS, DVD, or you can show up early in June and our own cameramen will tape you at no charge. Voting will be taking place at both our live events and over the internet. Each month a select grouping of fans who have made submissions will be invited into the ring as their tryout tape appears on our jumbo tron. The audience will no doubt give you instant feedback. When we whittle it down to the final 10 contestants, the true race will be on to see which fan will actually break into the world of professional wrestling without ever having attended so much as one class. Important note: this contest is NOT open to employees of Pro Wrestling Unplugged. It is truly going to be done by the fans, shown for the fans, and WON BY A FAN! For more information regarding this unique opportunity, including rules and guidelines, simply click here.

Now let's get into PRIDE, PAIN, AND PUNISHMENT, Saturday night, May the 19th, at the New Alhambra Arena (formerly known as the ECW Arena) with a bell time of 7:30. Doors will open at 7:00 sharp. The title of this show was actually taken from the mouths of All Money is Legal (AMIL) shortly after the totally unjustified malicious beating they received from THE SAT after their match in April. This went way beyond a wrestling beating and obviously, former favorites, The SAT had some kind of personal vendetta, be it real or imaginary, in their heads. As I sat in my office trying my damnedest to talk Annie Social out of quitting her job as executive vice-president, AMIL literally kicked in my office door and demanded a fight with the SAT. I asked them if they wanted some kind of special stipulation in their title defense, and their response was mostly unprintable, except for a few of their more mild words. Basically, they said "Screw the titles, we want a fight...a street fight...no wrestling clothes...anything goes...this ain't about no damn titles...this is about PRIDE...this is about PAIN...and this will most definitely be about PUNISHMENT!" That's about as sanitized a version as I can offer you fans, but after agreeing to this street fight, I realized that without knowing it, they had just named our May event.

It seems that pride is a recurring theme this month as one Johnny Kashmere was put through his very own barbed wire table by the young up and coming
deaf wrestling star Zack Maguire, a second generation wrestler who hails from Florida. Naturally, Kashmere blamed this all on his demented perception that Zach Gowen and Maguire conspired against him, when in reality it was every man for himself. Therefore it will be Kashmere vs. Maguire leaving Johnny with no excuses. As I mentioned earlier, and parts of this are available to see on our website's YouTube videos, my second in command, Miss Annie Social has resigned her post after being attacked, actually demolished, by women's champion "Primetime" Amy Lee along with that very strange man she carts around her known only as The Mad Doctor. Clotheslines and chairshots added to her meltdown and Annie, who is outweighed by more than double by Amy Lee has enlisted the aid of a new friend. Fresh off of Carmen Electra's Naked Women's Wrestling League pay per view where they became very good friends, Annie has solicited the services of one of the toughest females to ever lace up a pair of boots, April Hunter. Never one to be outdone, and being well aware of Hunter's kick-ass reputation, wily veteran Amy Lee went out and got her own "ringer", Sarah Del Ray. Del Ray, known as one of the toughest women in the business, like Hunter has wrestled all over the world, and we welcome her into the PWU locker room. This one's going to be quite interesting.

Back to our "pride" theme. There is also something known as "false pride". Coupling that with his usual chip on his shoulder, Trent Acid has been telling anyone within the sound of his voice over and over again about the standing ovations he received at The King of Europe tour. He's convinced that with the new moves he picked up on his European tour that he can win back the Heavyweight championship from Champion Devon Moore. Moore has held the title for 9 months and has beaten a virtual who's who of contenders. Both men are vying to be one of the participants in the highly anticipated Crazy 8's match in June, and the winner of this is basically assured of getting into next month's main event.

Last month, Adam Flash pulled a fast one on Messiah and no-showed the event. This month, unfortunately, it's Messiah who can't make it. He sent me the
following e-mail and with his permission, I reprint it:

There really is no easy way to say this so I'm just going to say it. I will not be able to compete against Adam Flash on May 19th. The god's honest truth is that I just started a new job and I am unable to take time off without jeopardizing my position in the company. The fact of the matter is I need to feed my family. As much as I dislike Flash, and would like nothing more than to kick his washed up ass around the ECW arena - I cannot put my hatred toward him in front of the needs of my family. I doubt Flash would have shown up anyway. Hell, he No Showed me last month. However, I will be showing up in PWU on June 16th, Flash. So, why don't you and I beat the hell out of each other then? You better believe I'm not the one who is going to be leaving PWU that night on a stretcher - I need to be at work at 7 am.

William "Messiah" Welch

That was received by the office earlier this week. Flash's cockiness just may be his undoing however, as PWU management has come up with what we deem a most suitable replacement. That man is known simply as JOKER! After getting screwed over by Ricky Reyes last month, the normally unpleasant Joker has actually become even more intolerable to be around, and Flash, I wish you Godspeed as a foul tempered Joker is not something to laugh about.

The Slugga Grand Slam Challenge continues this month, and The Iron Saints, Vito and Sal Thomaselli will return and join their brother Brandon Thomaselli in six man action. Other matches include The Real Pitbull Gary Wolf as his two prized XFC Academy graduates, The Complete Pete Hunter and Aramis will both try and impress their teacher when they square off. Also scheduled to appear are Drew Blood, Lucky, The Angus', and Z-Barr who has requested to appear on John House's in ring segment.

Last, but equally as important, because for the last two years The Crazy 8 has been the hardest PWU ticket to get, we will put them on sale that night, Saturday, May 19th, before they go on sale publicly the following Monday. Just as an aside, besides the amazing main event , we will see the PWU
debuts in June of Eddie Kingston and the return to the arena of Joey Matthews. Again, tickets will be on sale at the building May 19th and they are guaranteed to go fast.

Get those Commissioner Idol submissions in as this company, with it's wealth of talent, is one anyone would want to be in charge of.

***** *****

Remember fans, you can sign up to the PWU Mailing List at ProWrestlingUnplugged.com.
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