McMahon BALD~!

As if the outcome would be any other...

photo: WWE.com

...yet there were non-wrestling fans who asked me who was really getting their head shaved... and if it would really happen... and you wonder who the REAL idiots are. Trump and McMahon will be on Monday's edition of the Today show at 9AM EST.

-- A report card on Wrestlemania 23, the WWE's annual extravaganza

-- The best and worst moments from the WWE's annual showcase, Wrestlemania 23

-- Donald Trump wins, keeps his 'do intact

-- Emotions run high at WWE HOF

AS I SEE IT 3/31: Wrestlemania 23 predictions

AS I SEE IT
Bob Magee
Pro Wrestling: Between the Sheets
PWBTS.com

Yes, believe it or not (well at least some readers may not believe it) I'm doing a Wrestlemania predictions column. As a side note, it's kind of a shame that Wrestlemania is on April Fool's Day this year, as in my mind at least it removes opportunities for a little goodnatured fun.

But you can count on some website putting up a story saying Lashley broke his leg, or some other such nonsense to get a few extra hits, or chuckles, or both. It just won't be mine this year.

On to predictions...

"World" Heavyweight Championship
Batista vs. Undertaker

In theory, this is the "passing the torch" match...Undertaker to Batista, that is. I'd give Undertaker one last main event win...but I suspect Batista's going to get the win instead.

Batista's reputation seems to be going down the toilet after his little backstage adventure with Booker T some time back. He's also never come back quite as the same monster character after his latest injury...that, and the WWE Wellness Policy's enactment.

WWE Championship
John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

This is the match I've been looking forward the most to out of all of them. Cena-HBK got pretty close to a HHH-Batista Wrestlemania 21 level quality of buildup. The buildup that HHH-Batista that got two years ago was the best buildup I've ever seen for a Wrestlemania main event.

Michaels does pass the torch to Cena and Cena keeps his belt.

Battle of the Billionaires/Loser gets head shaved Bobby Lashley (with Donald Trump) vs. Umaga (with Vince McMahon)

This is the match that got exactly the press attention that it was intended to get...and then some. This match has been covered on as many new sources as I've seen a non-real life news story (for example, stories like Eddie Guerrero's death or the recent steroid charges against WWE and TNA talent don't count as they're both real-life news) covered by the mainstream press in recent memory.

It seems obvious that McMahon loses in this one. The reason I mentioned the fact that its April Fool's Day earlier on was this: I just hope McMahon doesn't try to pull an "April Fool" on people who are paying $50.00 to see this PPV and weasel out of the head shaving (in real life, not storyline).

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Edge vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Randy Orton

This is the match with the most possibilities, as the Money In The Bank match can do wonders to push a new talent to the top echelon. That's one reason it should be CM Punk...but it won't.

My guess is Mr. Kennedy gets the win, instead.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed
Sandman/Sabu/RVD/Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke, Matt Striker, Marcus Cor Von and Kevin Thorn

Prepare for the burial of the Velocity star...er, "ECW originals". From there we can expect "Wrestler released" stories in the next few weeks.

Team Velocity...er, the "New Breed" wins.

WWE Women's Champion
Melina vs. Ashley

Who's got the Playboy centerfold here? Which one's in the doghouse with WWE management? It's not heard to figure out this one. Ashley wins.

Kane vs. The Great Khali

A definite major league Wrestlecrap moment. This is the time to go order those Buffalo wings or pizza, get another beer, or hit the head.

Who wins? Not the fans.

WWE United States Championship
Chris Benoit vs. MVP

God, I hope Chris Benoit can carry "MVP" to a match above snore level. I swear if Benoit has to give up the belt to a cartoon character like this, I may vomit. Buckets, however, are at the ready, as this sounds like Vince is giving MVP a push to a belt.


Until next time...

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(As always...this column represents the view of this writer and not necessarily of the website on which it appears).
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Wrestlemania 23 CARE Preview Podcast Now Available!

This has to be one of the most insane podcasts we have ever recorded! Full description and link to download here

GONE FISHIN'~!

By Art Shimko
shimko_7@hotmail.com

-- I'm headed to Boston from Thursday until Monday, everything on here is as updated as possible, there are still a ton of stories on UFC buying Pride FC, also UFC's pretty busy as they filed a lawsuit against Showtime and EliteXC.

Today there was a Wrestlemania press conference at Trump Towers in New York where Trump BITCH SLAPPED (~!!!) McMahon. Complete Mania card and more info is at WWE.com.

The Detroit Press has has a ton off press on Mania .

I took part in a Wrestlemania preview podcast today that was full of wackiness with the Old Country Times gang, it should be up within a day or two, head on over to oldcountrypodcast.mypodcast.com to check it out. Our CARE + Vuz Vuz Vuz Jabronis Mania roundtable (in text format~!) will be posted this weekend at canvaschronicle.com.

There's info on this weekend's huge ROH shows and events in Detroit on yesterday's update but for complete weekend info go to ROH's website.

So everyone have a great weekend, enjoy Wrestlemania and thank you as always for your support~!
A.