You're crazy, man. You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy. Vol. 3 (2/4/07)

By Art Shimko
shimko_7@hotmail.com

-- Well after a long absence we're back with some odd and interesting news from this past week...



-- MOONINITES WITH HELP OF STARVING ARTISTS ATTACK BOSTON & PHILLY "SCARING" (MORE LIKE PISSING OFF) CITY OFFICIALS: Boston artists Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens were arrested this week for putting up what were said to look like suspicious bomb-type devices planted throughout Boston. These devices, which can be seen here, were for a promotion for the Cartoon Network's Aqua Teen Hunger Force show and they look more like a Lite-Brite toy than what authorities in Boston and Philadelphia (where one of the flashing devices was found) described them as. The AP reports that reports that the prosecution may have a hard time proving that these two had any intent to terrorize the public and plus the devices honestly look like toys, and even if some old person tells you they don't know it's a cartoon character you can just laugh in their face because the whole thing is ridiculous.
In Philadelphia authorities found out from Turner Broadcasting that 56 of these things were planted throughout the city which created some lame "panic-mode" search. One turned up at a Foot Locker store on South Street, City managing director Pedro Ramos wasn't amused, "I'm hoping that some of these marketing companies find that balance between being hip and being reckless. And this case is about as reckless as you're going to see." The only thing reckless here was city officials and authorities making such a big fucking deal about this, and you know what? They act like they're prepared for another "9/11" after an event like this but I bet either city still wouldn't be ready for a catastrophe because it's always easy to catch guys like this doing a goofball stunt instead of professional terrorists.

-- Joey Chestnut downs a record 182 wings: Yes, it's that wonderful, cultural, historic annual event that again put Philadelphia on the map... I'm taking about the Wing Bowl. "I love to eat," said Chestnut, 23, of San Jose, Calif. "Today I was swallowing wings, swallowing bones, whatever it took."

-- Can you tell this guy loves caffeine? He's showed his love for caffeine even more by coming up with caffeinated doughnuts and bagels. I'm scared of how much more hyper people in my office would be if they brought this shit in for breakfast.

-- Please note: if you are drinking hand sanitizer to get a buzz, a) you're a FUCKING MORON DOUCHEBAG; and b) that shit's dangerous yo. A prisoner in Maryland went bat-shit-crazy after drinking a gallon of hand sanitizer which contains more than 70 percent alcohol (over 140 proof). This will be "glue-sniffing" for the 21st century.

-- Alright, this is fuckin' sick. Methheads are disgusting creatures as it is, but with Meth Users Turning To Urine To Get High, that's a new definition of being "hard up".

-- So a police chief in Wisconsin wrote himself a ticket after passing a school bus that had its emergency lights flashing. For violating the traffic law the chief paid a $235 fine and docked four points from his record. Talk about practicing what you preach...

-- Court: He had a right to curse - Ya God Damned Right~!!!

-- Wookie impersonator arrested for battery

-- Swans found living in city apartment

-- Dutch gym strips off for training in the buff

-- Italian asked for annulment because wife smoked

-- “Smokable” pain drugs promise faster action

-- Oils 'make male breasts develop'
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Feedback on Jennifer Strange/radio contest death

A young man named Ben left me a blog comment on my Myspace page regarding the Jennifer Strange story, below is his reply to the blog and my response follows:

From Ben on Myspace: People also often overlook the dangers of jaywalking and a lot of other simple everyday things. Should a station research the effects of a fat guy running two miles in under twenty minutes for a contest? Of course that's unhealthy!

My main point is that this lady did what she did. Nobody else made her. She signed a waiver and knew there was a potential risk and she chose to ignore it. Nobody is at fault but her. If the radio station gets blamed (which they have) bars should be next because they serve the people that drive home and then kill somebody because they are impaired.

My next point is that it sucks most for the family of this woman. Her kids no don't have a mother because she lacked the maturity to stay away from a idiotic stunt

My response: Should a station research the effects of a fat guy running two miles in under twenty minutes for a contest? Of course that's unhealthy! YES, if the station plans such a contest...

I agree with your points, my point of the station doing research for such a contest is that if you had listened to the morning segment the DJ's are asking each other if you can get hurt or even die performing such a stunt, don't you think details like that should be looked at before running a contest involving a stunt? We know jaywalking is dangerous, and we know drunk driving is dangerous... Did anyone think beforehand what could result in this stunt? Jennifer Strange didn't and neither did the radio station although judging from the comments and questions from the morning crew Jennifer should've thought twice before going ahead.

Now as far as firing the entire morning crew over this, I think because the contestants signed a waiver that should basically rid the station of any responsibility should something really get screwed up. In this case I guess the company that owns the station did this as some type of "damage-control" move, I think a fine and/or suspension for a few days may have been more appropriate. However, legalities aside, the station needs to be a little more responsible when dealing with the public. It's ashame but there are stupid people out there.

Your body is 98% percent water, why can't you take in as much water as you want?

By Art Shimko
shimko_7@hotmail.com

-- Here is an audio excerpt from KDND's Morning Rave show last Friday of Jennifer Strange and the host of the show talking about the "Hold your Wee for Wii" contest which resulted in her death. Here is a rough transcript of the segment, now keep in mind I said previously that Strange was responsible for her own actions but after listening to these DJ's I wouldn't trust my life at all with any of those fuckin' idiots:
Guy Host 1: Fester, how much water do you think you'll have to drink before you have to Wee.

Fester: 2 Gallons.

Guy Host 1: 2 gallons of water! Ah dude!

Girl Host: Can't you get water poisoning.

Guy Host 1: Your bodies 98% percent water why can't you take in as much water as you want.

Girl: I don't know.

Guy #2: What about that poor kid who was in college?

Guy #1: I know, but he was doing other things.

Girl: I know, that's what I was thinking, maybe we should have researched this before.

Guy #2: We never do this before I start doing something, next thing you know I break out in hives and I'm in an ambulance.

Guy #1: If it gets dangerous for someone there body will automaticly throuw it up, and if someone throws up there out of the contest. Eva (on radio) Eva, what do you want to say.

Eva: I want to say those people drinking all the water can get sick and possibly die of water intoxication.

Guy #1: Yea, we're aware of that.

Guy #2: They signed releases, so we're not responsible, it's okay.

(laughting)
Guy #1: If they get to the point they have to throw up, then they're going to throw up and they're out of the contest before they die, so that's good, right?

Girl: Ah, that's mean.

...

Guy 1: Hey Carter, is anyone dying yet?

Carter: We got a guy just about to die.

(laughing)

Guy 1: I'm glad we laugh at that.

Guy 2/Girl: Make sure you get the insurance. Sign the release get a stretcher.
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Radio contest death follow-up

By Art Shimko
shimko_7@hotmail.com

-- Regarding a story that I wrote here today about a young mother who died from drinking too much water for a radio contest, NBC 11 in Northern California reported that 10 employees of KDND, the radio station that was holding a "Hold Your Wee For A Wii" contest, were fired following the death of Jennifer Strange, one of 18 contestants who participated in the station's on-air water-drinking contest where the person who could keep from taking a piss the longest won a Nintendo Wii game console. The morning show that ran the contest, along with three of its hosts are done with the station effective immediately. Thankfully there was some follow-up and justice in this situation, as I said in the previous blog the person is responsible for what they put their body through but also the station and the people in charge of this contest needed to be just as responsible for the public and those who decide to partake in doing stunts for a prize.
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Woman dies from drinking too much water

By Art Shimko
arts767@verizon.net

-- As reported by the Associated Press a few days ago, 28-year-old mother of three Jennifer Strange died last Friday from water intoxication after she entered a contest from radio station KDND 107.9 in Sacremento to see how long contestants could refrain from taking a piss after drinking 8-ounce bottles of water every 15 minutes. Strange, who was competing for a Nintendo Wii for her kids, told her work supervisor that she was going home and that her head was hurting real bad, "She was crying, and that was the last that anyone had heard from her," said co-worker Laura Rios of Radiological Associates of Sacramento.

The staff at KDND were stunned to learn of Strange's death, "We are awaiting information that will help explain how this tragic event occurred," said Entercom Sacramento [KDND owners] V.P. John Geary in a statement, meanwhile contestant James Ybarra told the press that participants were told if they didn't feel they could do the contest not to risk their health. Ybarra quit after five bottles and said the ones who remained were given bigger bottles of water to drink, he also had spoken to Strange, "She was telling me about her family and her three kids and how she was doing it for her kids."

It's sad that someone, a mother of three no less, died from such a stupid act. I mean, radio contests always seem to have such wacky stipulations like this and I'm sure the radio station had these people sign waivers to cover the company's ass but that doesn't excuse the station from researching the potential fatality this type of activity could result in. Of course they did tell people that they shouldn't risk their health but of course people take things like this for granted not realizing the danger they can put themselves in, and frankly if you have to piss and you hold it in for long period of time... it's an unpleasent feeling, and I'm sorry but ANY MATERIAL ITEM no matter the value is NOT worth risking your life over. C'mon, isn't your life worth a helluva lot more than a fucking game console??
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You're crazy, man. You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy. Vol. 2 (1/7/07)

By Art Shimko
shimko_7@hotmail.com

-- Below is a collection of the oddest, funniest, wackiest shit you'll see reported by the AP, Reuters and other press outlets.

-- I'm not shitting you, this is someone's high school yearbook photo. This kid, partakes in mock medieval battles, sword fights and feasts on roasted swine and vulture on a spit with other kindred spirits who all belong to the Society for Creative Anachronism. And yes, chain mail is mandatory dress code~!

-- Oh that damn Myspace! We would've gotten away if it weren't for those meddling kids! Parents of a twelve-year old girl were arrested on child abuse charges on Friday. The girl, who lives in Florida, posted on her Myspace page that while visiting her father and stepmother in Kent County, Maryland during the holidays they gave her coke and pot several times. Real nice, nothing like being twelve and high on Christmas.

The girl's mother read what her daughter wrote on Myspace, which she confirmed was true, leading to a call to the Maryland State Police and the arrest of her father and stepmother. That is the most irresponsible thing I've read today. Those two are some real pieces of trash.

-- The U.S. Army is so desperate to recruiting even more soldiers that they're recruiting dead and wounded soldiers. The Army apologized to over 200 families of wounded and dead soldiers who mistakenly received letters urging them to return to active duty, just days after Christmas which I'm sure struck a nerve in just about everyone who got one of those letters.

-- Bank issues credit card to cat

-- U.S. woman settles case over flour-filled condoms

-- Bride's joke breaks off Austrian wedding

-- Self-cleaning underwear needs no washing for weeks

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You're crazy, man. You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy. Vol. 1 (1/4/07)

Below is a collection of the oddest, funniest, wackiest shit you'll see reported by the AP, Reuters and other press outlets that really don't need much analysis as the headlines speak for themselves.

-- Bare-fist bouts a knockout with South Africa fight fans

-- Elderly man beats burglar with shoehorn

-- Man tells deputies: 'I'm cooking meth'

-- Man proposes, then allegedly KOs fiancee

-- CNN apologized Tuesday for mistakenly promoting a story on the search for Osama bin Laden with the headline "Where's Obama?"

-- Apology for "topless" New Year's Eve shock

-- Santeria priests decline Castro prediction

-- Hundreds brave icy Atlantic plunge